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moon_blitzTitle: In Silence Worshiped
Fandom: Danball Senki
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Character Study
Rating: PG
Pairing: Zaizen/Yagami
Wordcount: 8,823
Warning: Spoilers through to Danball Senki Wars.
Summary: His job was to gather intelligence for Zaizen and to help protect the people of Japan. With his past, Yagami couldn't expect anything else, even if there was a possibility of something more.
Chapter 2
“Zaizen Sousuke’s governing party has been voted out of power by a wide margin, failing to gain even two-thirds of the votes it got in the last election. Tougou Giichi’s party seems set to take over as the next government of Japan.” Yagami closed the video streaming link then, disappointed in himself. He had been unable to help Zaizen remain in power. Those who wished to get Zaizen out of office to promote for their own agendas had succeeded where the Innovators had failed.
He wouldn’t call Zaizen, not tonight. He would be selfish and enjoy one more night of freedom before his jail term started. Unlike for Professor Yamano, there would be no trial for him or his team. Just a car ride in handcuffs to the jail. Making sure to put his CCM on silent, he left the office and headed for his favourite bar.
- - -
Thankfully, he was already somewhat awake when the knock came at his door. Getting up slowly and regretting drinking so much the night before, he carefully walked over to the door and unlocked it. Taking a deep breath, he opened it, trying not to wince as the light from the hallway hit his face.
“Zaizen…san?” He hadn’t expected Zaizen to be present for his arrest, but perhaps it was only natural for him to be there. The man was alone though, so he assumed the police were waiting outside the apartment complex.
“Morning, Yagami,” Zaizen said pleasantly, looking slightly tired but appearing far happier than someone who just lost an election should be. “Are you up for some breakfast?”
“I…breakfast?” Yagami stared. “Am I not going to be arrested?”
“Arrested?” Zaizen looked surprised, then realization dawned on his face. “Ah, that. No, I still need you by my side. I may not be Prime Minister anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’ve given up on my people.”
“I see. Breakfast would be wonderful.” And perhaps it would help reduce the pounding headache he had. “Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be down.”
“Not going to invite me in?” Zaizen said playfully.
“Not until you invite me to your home,” he responded, not caring that he was probably being rude or that his heart beat faster at the thought of seeing where Zaizen lived.
Zaizen raised and eyebrow, smirked and nodded. “It’s a date, then. My home isn’t as nice as the Prime Minister’s residence, but it’s not too shabby.”
Yagami blinked, surprised that he had agreed so readily. Then he nodded and went to try and look like he hadn’t spent half the night drinking, leaving his apartment a few minutes later sucking on a breath mint and wearing the darkest pair of sunglasses he had.
Zaizen had also donned the sunglasses and hat he had worn to Yagami’s office, and as they went down the stairs and out into the cool winter morning, Yagami thought they probably looked like a pair of detectives from an old book he had read once. Forced to stop and wait for his eyes to adjust from the bright sunshine, he frowned and regretted drinking so much the night before.
“Had a rough night?” Zaizen asked lightly as they got into the car. Thankful for the tinted windows, Yagami nodded.
“I…may have went overboard a little,” he admitted, staring down at his hands.
“Well, if I thought it was my last night of freedom, I probably would have done something similar. If you enjoyed yourself and didn’t cause any trouble, I don’t see a problem.”
Yagami looked up then, seeing that Zaizen was looking at him with a small smile on his face. “Sorry…” he mumbled, still feeling guilty. “How bad do I look?”
“Hm…not too bad, all things considered. If you keep the sunglasses on until we get inside, people will probably just assume you’re my bodyguard. Plus, I promise that the breakfast we’ll have will help you feel better.” Zaizen grinned, clearly in a good mood.
“Zaizen…” Yagami hesitated, not sure how to approach the topic. “You just lost the election. Shouldn’t…Shouldn’t there be other things you should be doing right now?”
“Instead of having breakfast with you, you mean? Probably.” The man leaned back in his seat, looking out the window with a thoughtful expression. “Touko has practice, and my staff is cleaning out my office, so there’s no one in particular I could spend my time with. I suppose I could be out giving interviews, but I’ve done that for the last month, and frankly, I’m tired of doing them. I won’t be meeting with my party members until tomorrow at the earliest, and the thought of breakfast with some of them isn’t exactly appetizing.” Zaizen looked back at Yagami and smiled again, adding, “So while I could be doing something else, I’m choosing to spend my time with you, Yagami.”
“I-I’m touched, sir,” was all he could manage to say around the lump in is throat. Did he really mean that much to Zaizen? They were friends, yes, but he had always assumed it was a professional friendship of sorts. Yagami saw now that he had been wrong about that for a while. He should have noticed it earlier, but his fight to keep his feelings under control had clouded his vision and made him misinterpret the signs. Some detective he was.
There was still something bothering him, though. “I’m sorry my team and I failed you, Zaizen. We should have done more.”
“You did the best you could, that’s all that matters. And who knows, perhaps we were wrong and this new school will help world peace,” Zaizen said, obviously trying to cheer him up.
“You don’t believe that for a second,” he replied flatly, causing his friend to chuckle.
“Ah, you know me too well, Yagami! I don’t believe that. But we were prepared for this outcome, and I fully intend to run in the next election.” The car stopped then, and Yagami realized they were at their destination. Adjusting his sunglasses against the coming sunshine, he told himself to cheer up and enjoy the meal that was to come.
- - -
Yagami stared at the case file open on the screen in front of him, trying to fit everything together. He knew when and where the person had gone missing, but the why was stumping him. Their personal life was calm, and they seemed happy enough at work. There was always the chance they were dead, but he considered that to be unlikely. He was missing something, that much was clear.
His CCM went off, startling him. Glancing at the time as he pulled it out, he figured there were only a few people who would call him this late. As his gaze landed on the name of the caller, he smiled and answered the call. “Good evening, Zaizen. What may I do for you?”
“Good evening, Yagami. I know it’s an odd time, but would you like to come over for a late dinner?”
Yagami didn’t even have to think about his answer. “I’d love to.”
“Excellent. My driver will be there in twenty minutes. I’ll see you then!”
“Until then,” he replied, flipping his CCM shut as the call ended.
His friend was waiting for him when he arrived nearly an hour later, looking more relaxed that Yagami had ever seen him. As the detective admired the grey wool sweater Zaizen wore, it struck him that this was the first time he had seen his friend not wearing a suit.
“Sorry for not giving you time to freshen up,” Zaizen said apologetically as Yagami slid on a pair of slippers. The front entrance was larger than most yet modest, and a quick look around showed him that Zaizen’s personality was everywhere. As was Touko’s, judging by the soccer cleats in the shoe rack and the soccer ball partially hidden by a potted plant.
“Don’t worry about it.” It had been a cool day and he had spent most of it inside, so it wasn’t like he had gotten too sweaty.
“If you wish, you could have a bath, or-”
“Zaizen,” Yagami said firmly, cutting him off. “I’m fine, really. I’m a detective, not a construction worker.”
Zaizen looked surprised, then he chuckled and said, “I suppose you’re right. Dinner isn’t quite ready yet, so how about a drink to start?”
“Sounds good.”
As Zaizen led him down a hallway, he asked over his shoulder, “What would you like? We’ve got sake, various wines, or whiskey if you’d like something with a bit more kick. There’s tea and coffee if you’d rather that.”
“Hm…” Yagami considered his options and they entered Zaizen’s study, realizing that he did want to unwind a little. “What kind of wines do you have?”
“There’s some lovely Tendu wine, as well as several bottles of Kyoutamba and a good selection of Kobe wine. The Ikeda wine is my favourite, though,” Zaizen answered, looking pleased at his decision.
“You only have Japanese wines?” Yagami asked, surprised by the selection.
“I do. I feel that it is important to support local industries. While I do enjoy international wines, I only drink them if they are the only wine available at public events and the like,” Zaizen confirmed with a nod.
“An interesting choice…Ikeda it is. I’ll leave it up to you to choose the year.”
“An excellent pick, Yagami. I think you’ll enjoy the bottle of ‘33 I have.” The smile Zaizen gave him then made his stomach twist into a knot, but Yagami ignored it and settled into a chair. He wouldn’t allow his feelings for Zaizen to mar his enjoyment of the evening to come.
As they waited for their drinks to arrive, Yagami looked around the study and noticed that it felt a lot like Zaizen’s office, except the chairs were more comfortable and it had more books. Pictures of Touko were scattered about the room, and he noticed that she was wearing a soccer jersey in many of them. “Is your daughter home tonight?”
“No, not tonight. She’s away visiting friends, and probably playing soccer with them too.” Zaizen smiled, clearly proud of his daughter. And so he should be, considering what she had done for Japan.
“I’m sure she’s having a good time.” She had seemed like a very nice girl that time he had met her after practice, and he could already tell that she would grow up to be a fine young lady. “When is her next home game?”
“Next Saturday, I believe. Thinking of coming?”
“If my current case allows it, yes.”
“Wonderful. She’s asked about you, you know. I think she rather likes you, or at least your hair,” Zaizen said with a grin.
“My hair?” Puzzled, Yagami ran a hand through the strands that brushed his cheek. He had let it grow after the death of Keiko, more focused on preventing another tragedy than on his appearance, and had eventually grown accustomed to having it long.
“Apparently she likes people with long hair. I advise you not to cut it short like it was in the past, otherwise you might break her heart,” Zaizen explained, than added with a wink, “And possibly mine too.”
“I-I see…” Their wine arrived then, and Yagami tried to control his blush as he took a sip. To his delight, the wine has a lovely flavour to it, and so he used it to change the topic. “You were right, Zaizen, this is excellent.”
“I’m glad you like it.” The conversation moved on to wines and various other alcoholic beverages, Yagami finding that his knowledge of drinks was actually useful outside of a case for once. Zaizen seemed to know a lot as well, and they continued to talk as they sat down to dinner. Zaizen had a Western-style dining room, but there were traditional elements everywhere.
While the meal was delicious, Yagami found himself distracted by other matters despite his attempt to keep up a light conversation. Mainly, the matter of his feelings towards Zaizen. He had done his best to ignore them during the intervening months since his realization of them, not wishing to dwell on something he was unable to change. But they had persisted, so now he was trying to distract himself with thoughts of Keiko and Yuki. Keiko held a piece of his heart still, and he was unwilling to abandon her love and her memory to someone he could never have.
“What are you thinking about?”
Looking up at Zaizen’s question, he realized he had been staring into his wine for a good minute without taking a drink. He was tempted to lie and say his case was distracting him, but the truth won out in the end. “Keiko,” he said simply, putting down his wine and looking directly at the other man.
“Ah. Do you still think about her and Yuki a lot?” Zaizen’s tone was soft, and his expression was gentle. It was clear that Yagami could end this conversation if he wanted to, but something made him keep talking.
“I do…even after all these years, I’m still not used to sleeping alone. Or to hearing silence when I come home.” Yagami bit his lip, trying to control his emotions. “Once she was old enough to talk, Yuki always greeted me in the morning before I left, and she used to say that she was so proud of me for catching the bad guys…”
“I like to believe most daughters are proud of their fathers if their fathers are in our lines of work. I know Touko is proud of me, and has been ever since she was a little girl. When she’s gone the house feels…different.” Zaizen frowned, and Yagami nodded, understanding that feeling all too well.
“What will you do when she moves out?” Yagami asked, trying to lighten to mood.
“I haven’t the faintest idea. Go get drunk with you, perhaps?” They both smiled at that, then Zaizen asked, “Care for some dessert?”
“Sure. Could you thank the chef for working so late? This meal has been wonderful.”
“I could, or you could do it yourself. Masumi-san should still be back there,” Zaizen replied, jerking his thumb in the general direction of the kitchen.
Yagami hesitated, then said slowly, “If you’ll excuse me…”
“No problem. Third door on your right.” Bolstered by the smile his friend gave him, the man rose and went to find the chef.
- - -
Five in the morning was early, even for him, but Yagami knew he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. He had had a restless night, plagued by dreams of Keiko and Yuki. It had left him tired and angry at himself. He had already made his decision - he would simply watch Zaizen and respect him that way, rather than endangering their relationship by admitting what he felt. So why did it feel like the wrong choice?
Sitting up and rubbing his face, he decided that a nice long shower would make him feel better. As he slid his legs over the side of the bed, Yagami noticed that his CCM screen was showing the message icon. Curious, he grabbed it and flipped it open, opening the message was a few clicks of the keypad.
I checked with Touko and she would love to see you at her next match. It starts at three, so be sure to go early to avoid the traffic. Also, I would appreciate it if you kept your caseload light for the next month or so. Have a good day! - Zaizen
“Why are you awake this early…?” he mumbled as he confirmed that he would be there, unable to keep from smiling at the mysterious suggestion in the message. Zaizen was obviously planning something, but he wouldn’t ruin the surprise by investigating until he knew more.
- - -
Yagami winced but grinned as Zaizen gave a shrill whistle from beside him, the noise being swallowed up by the roar of the crowd that filled the stadium. When Zaizen had said soccer match, he had been imagining something smaller than a full-fledged soccer stadium. But the energy of the fans had lifted his spirits, and he found he was enjoying himself immensely. Touko’s team was powerful, but their opponent seemed to be evenly matched to them. As the first half ended, Zaizen settled back in his seat, a big grin on his face.
“Touko’s playing well,” Yagami commented once he could hear himself speak.
“Yes, she’s doing very well. The new team members are responding to her nicely,” his friend said with a nod. Zaizen was wearing his usual hat and sunglasses public outfit, but Yagami suspected that some of the people around them knew who they were seated with.
“That’s right, some of the other members retired after the election. Is Tougou a soccer fan as well?”
“I don’t think so, but he might show up at a game or two to show his support for the sport.” Zaizen shrugged, then asked, “Do you want anything? I’m going to go grab a drink.”
“No, I’m fine. Shall I come with you?” Despite the fact that Zaizen was no longer the Prime Minister, Yagami still feared that their enemies might make another attempt on his life to ensure he didn’t cause any more trouble.
Zaizen squeezed his shoulder and shook his head. “I’ll be fine, Yagami. I’m well-protected, even here.” Giving him and easy smile, the man rose and made his way towards the steps. Still feeling the weight of Zaizen’s hand on his shoulder, the detective took another look around and saw some familiar faces - off-duty Special Police members, including former team mates of Touko’s, were seated in a loose circle around them. One of them noticed Yagami’s look and gave him a polite nod before looking away. Reassured, he settled back in his seat and wondered which team would score first.
Zaizen returned a few minutes later, carrying two cups. Realizing what he had done, Yagami opened his mouth to refuse, but was cut off.
“Try it. Try it and thank me later,” his friend said firmly, so Yagami simply nodded and accepted the cup. Aware that he was being watched, he took a tentative sip, his eyes widening at the taste.
“Orange and…mint tea?”
“Yep! I’ve had it here before, and I thought you would like it. Looks like I was correct,” Zaizen said with a laugh, then waved as Yagami reached for his wallet. “No, no, it’s my treat. I insist.”
“Very well. But I will pay you back for all of this eventually,” Yagami muttered, giving him a sharp look. He did earn a salary, so he was able to pay for things.
“Eventually, yes. Of that, I have no doubt.” The crowd started to cheer as the players came back onto the pitch, and Zaizen whistled as Touko appeared, clearly proud of his daughter. Yagami just smiled as the second half began and took a drink of his tea, eager to see the rest of the game.
- - -
“Yo!” Zaizen grinned and waved as Yagami rolled down the car window, bags resting by his feet. “You sure you don’t mind driving?”
“It’s the least I can do. Let’s get going before the morning traffic ties everything up,” Yagami said, and his friend nodded and picked up his luggage and went to put it in the trunk. After much pressing, Zaizen had finally told him that he was going on a short trip to an inn near Osaka, and that he wanted Yagami to join him. The detective had agreed to come, on the condition that he drove them there. Zaizen had objected, but he had insisted, saying it would be cheaper than using Zaizen’s driver.
“Please tell me that’s coffee,” Zaizen said as he got into the car, and Yagami smiled and nodded. “Excellent. I needed something to wake me up.”
“Late night?” Yagami asked as they pulled out of the driveway.
“No, not overly so. I didn’t sleep that well for some reason.”
“Those nights happen.” Thankfully, he had gotten a decent rest, free of dreams of any sort. “If you want to take a nap, go ahead. We have a four hour drive ahead of us, anyway.”
“Indeed. Depending on what the coffee does to me, I may just do that.”
They fell into light conversation as they moved through Tokio, Yagami filling Zaizen in on the most recent case he had solved. It had been a relatively simple case - figuring out the culprit behind a blackmailing scheme - but he had enjoyed the work nonetheless. By the time they reached the outskirts of the city, Zaizen was dozing, so Yagami kept quiet and focused on the road.
The drive between Tokio and Osaka was nothing spectacular since he was taking the most direct route, but it was nice to get out of the city and into the mountains again. The hum of the tires of the road was soothing, and while some might call highway driving monotonous due to the endless tunnels and mountainous scenery, Yagami didn’t mind. It was better than staring at a computer screen all day. Zaizen was still asleep when he stopped for a bathroom break and a late breakfast two hours later, so the detective let him be and ate quickly, occasionally glancing over at his friend. Zaizen’s face was peaceful, and Yagami wondered if he was dreaming about anything.
His friend woke up as Yagami was pulling away from a toll booth. Yawning and stretching as much as he could in his seat, Zaizen asked sleepily, “How are along are we?”
“Nearly there. About another forty-five minutes or so?”
Zaizen sat up straighter at that. “I was more tired that I thought…sorry for being such a terrible travel companion.”
Yagami looked away from the road for a second to smile at him. “It’s fine, really. I’m used to my own company. There’s a breakfast sandwich for you in the dash.”
“Ah, thank you. Still, I promise I’ll be more alert on the way back,” Zaizen said as he unwrapped his food, looking mildly upset.
“Mm-hmm.”
“You don’t believe me?”
Zaizen sounded surprised, and the man fought to keep his expression serious as he replied, “No, I believe you. You almost always keep your word.”
“‘Almost always’? Why Zaizen, it almost sounds like you’re challenging me!” Zaizen’s tone had turned playful, which only made it harder for Yagami to keep a straight face.
“Challenging you, sir? I would never do that.”
“So you are challenging me. Challenge accepted, then! I’ll be wide awake for the return trip, just you wait and see! Perhaps you’ll even let me drive…?”
“Absolutely not.” Yagami knew that Zaizen could drive, but he suspected his friend was long out of practice, and highway driving was something one needed practice for.
“I do have a licence,” Zaizen pressed, and a quick glance showed that he was smirking.
“When was the last time you drove on a highway? If it was within the last five years, I might consider it.” When the man beside him didn’t answer, Yagami considered the ‘argument’ over and smiled to himself. Victory was his.
- - -
Sliding down deeper into the steaming water, Yagami sighed in happiness and decided that this was worth the four plus hours of driving. The inn was fairly new by Japanese standards, but it was still a very traditional place and due to the time of year, quiet.
Hearing the door to the male side of the bath slid open, Yagami straightened slightly and wondered if it was Zaizen. There was another male guest, a young foreigner who was travelling around Japan for a year. He seemed friendly enough, so he hoped the young man wouldn’t cause any trouble.
“You look ridiculous with your hair like that.” Feeling a rush go through him at Zaizen’s words, Yagami made sure not to look over his shoulder as the other man prepared to enter the hot spring. He had thought he had been mentally prepared to share the bath with Zaizen, but now he was doubting that decision. It was too late to do anything about it, however, so he resolved to press on.
“I thought it would be best if I tied it back.” He had coiled in in a tight bun in order to keep it out of the water, but the amount of hair he had made if difficult to do so neatly.
“An excellent idea, but there must be a nicer way to do so. Would you be offended if I braid it?” Zaizen offered, and Yagami stiffened, conflicting feelings preventing him from replying. When he didn’t answer, the man added, “I’m a bit rusty at it, but Touko always seemed to like it when she was little…”
Sincerely glad he didn’t have to look Zaizen in the face, Yagami said slowly, “I…I would not be offended, Zaizen.” If Keiko could see him now, she would be laughing at him, he was certain of that.
“Good. I’ll be with you in a minute.” Yagami tried not to fidget while he waited, hoping that his red cheeks would be blamed on the heat of the bath. He made sure to avert his gaze as Zaizen lowered himself into the water beside him, sighing softly as he did so. “Whenever you’re ready, Yagami.”
Nodding silently, the detective breathed out and shifted so that his back was to Zaizen. As his bun was undone, Yagami tried to focus on something aside from the fingers slowly combing his damp hair. Tilting his head down, he started at the steam rising from the water, feeling the tension drain from his shoulders and back. He liked this, that much he would admit to himself. Keiko had never paid much attention to his hair, but Yuki had liked to play with it sometimes. His daughter probably would have loved to see him with long hair, and he imagined that she might have braided it much like Zaizen was doing now.
“Say something if I’m pulling too hard or anything,” Zaizen murmured quietly, and Yagami nodded in reply. The other man was being gentle, that much he could tell. There was silence as Zaizen continued his work, Yagami sensing him gaining more confidence as he went along. Once the braid was complete, his hair was put back into a bun, this once much tighter and neater than Yagami’s previous attempt.
Rolling his head around as he adjusted to the unfamiliar weight, Yagami settled back against the side of the back, looking over at Zaizen, unable to keep from admiring the other man’s chest. He seemed to be keeping in shape, at least. “Thank you,” he said sincerely, pleased at the attention despite himself.
“You’re welcome,” Zaizen replied, looking happy as he sunk lower into the bath. “Unfortunately, my hair is far too short to do anything with.”
“Perhaps you should grow it?”
“I did wear it a little bit longer in the past…” Zaizen reached up and ran a hand through his side swept bangs, then added thoughtfully, “I may have to let it grow out again.”
“Would Touko mind?” Like her father, Touko seemed very straightforward, and he had a feeling she would object strongly if her father did something she didn’t like.
“I…have no idea. I’ll have to ask her about it,” Zaizen answered with a laugh then breathed in deeply. “Ah, this is nice. Thanks for coming with me, Yagami.”
“We both needed a vacation.” Really, they needed one ever since Mizel, but things had kept interrupting any plans to take one.
“Indeed. Although I honestly thought I’d have to drag you out of your office before you’d go on one,” Zaizen said, flicking water at him.
Yagami gave him a sharp look and flicked some water back. The innkeeper wouldn’t be happy if they made too much of a mess, so he held back from splashing his friend any more. “As you found out, all you had to do was tell me to take a vacation. I could say the same about you as well,” he said after a moment, knowing that his friend had meant no offence.
“Oh, don’t I know it!” Zaizen tipped his head back and looked up at the evening sky. “I probably would have waited until summer to take one, but Touko insisted that now was as good a time as any.”
Yagami nodded, easily imagining that conversation. Keiko had sometimes pestered him about things he kept putting off as well. “Do you have any particular plans while you’re here?”
“My parents live nearby, so I’ll be going to see them and some other family members. Other than that, just relax and take in a few of the local attractions. You?”
Yagami hadn’t realized that Zaizen had relatives in the region, but he supposed it made sense. “Nothing in particular, really.” He hadn’t given much thought to what he was going to do, partly because the trip had been so sudden but partly because he had never been much of a tourist. Perhaps he could ask the travelling young man for some tips.
“We should do something together, then,” Zaizen commented, then said, “Up for some sake after supper? The innkeeper says he has some excellent bottles in stock.”
Yagami hesitated, realized that he wanted to spend as much time with Zaizen as possible, as selfish as it was. “That sounds like a wonderful way to spend the evening.”
“Drinks it is,” Zaizen said, sounding truly relaxed for the first time in months. Sliding deeper into the water, Yagami closed his eyes and breathed out, telling himself that the rest of the night would go smoothly.
- - -
Yagami leaned back against the frame of the open sliding door, staring up at the full moon. It was probably too early in the year to have the door open, but he didn’t mind the cool night air despite only wearing a grey yukata and the undergarment that went with it. He and Zaizen had shared a bottle of sake once supper was concluded, and now his friend was busy making tea in his own room which he would bring over shortly.
As he admired the silver moon, Yagami fingered the end of his braid, rather liking the change in hairstyle. It was heavier than he was used to, but he had looked in a mirror and concluded it looked good on him. Zaizen seemed to like it as well, so perhaps he would keep it braided until the end of their trip. He then winced at the thought, glancing towards the wall that separated their two rooms. He had to stop thinking like that. This wasn’t a date, after all. If he wasn’t careful, he might slip and reveal something to Zaizen. Doing so would make everything awkward, and he didn’t want their relationship to change.
A tap on his door made him turn, and he got up and went to it, smiling at the sight of Zaizen holding a tea tray when he opened it. “Come in,” he said formally, stepping aside.
“Don’t mind if I do,” Zaizen said casually, the walking carefully over to the table near the open door and setting the tray down. Like Yagami, he was dressed in a yukata, although his was the traditional dark blue colour, and the detective thought the colour suited him very nicely. Yagami saw him glance up at the moon as he walked back to join him, and noticed the smile on his face as he settled down next to him.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked softly as the tea was poured, and Zaizen nodded.
“Yes, very beautiful. Spring moons always have an air of elegance about them,” the man replied as he handed Yagami some tea, and he focused on the cup in his hands to avoid meeting Zaizen’s eyes. The sake might have loosened his tongue, and he didn’t want to say anything he might regret.
“Have you heard anything else about the new LBX school?” he asked in a effort to chance the subject, but he couldn’t help but notice the soft sigh Zaizen gave before he answered.
“Not a whole lot, and nothing through official channels. Tougou is being smart and keeping the details quiet until a public explanation for the school can be developed.”
“I’m certain they’ll come up with something soon, if construction is to start before the end of the year,” Yagami said, working out a mental timeline. If the school was constructed quickly, it would probably open in time for the 2053 Artemis tournament. But the Japanese government was also pouring millions into rebuilding the devastated areas of Tokio, so he wondered just where the money for the new school would come from, and what organizations would help to fund it.
“Tougou strikes me as the sort of man who would want to get started as soon as possible, so I expect an official announcement by summer,” Zaizen said, and Yagami thought about this as they drank their tea.
“I hope this doesn’t backfire on them,” he said eventually, still troubled by the idea of children fighting wars between each other.
“I suspect it will blow up in their faces at some point. I just pray that the students involved aren’t too badly hurt in the process,” Zaizen said sadly, and Yagami watched him silently as he looked up at the moon.
“If…when you get re-elected, what will you do?”
“I’m not sure. I suppose it depends on the state of the school and world politics at the time of the next election. Almost all of the Diet members support Tougou, and the opposing voices such as mine are few and far between. We can thank our enemies for that.” Zaizen took a breath, poured Yagami some more tea, and said, “Alright, enough gloomy talk! This is a vacation, so we shouldn’t be worrying over things we cannot change.”
“Then what do you suggest we talk about?” Yagami was at a loss for a good conversation starter, since he led a quiet life and didn’t exactly have much of a social life.
The look Zaizen gave him made him wish he had said something about soccer, because it was the look Zaizen gave whenever he had someone perfectly positioned to tell him what he wanted to know, regardless of whether or not the person wanted to tell him or not. Yagami had seen him use it on others, but had never been on the receiving end of it before and found it rather unnerving.
“Well…you, for starters.”
“Me?” Yagami took a drink of tea, suddenly finding that his mouth was dry. Surely whatever Zaizen wanted to know couldn’t be anything too serious, otherwise he would have raised the matter before now. “What about me?”
“When was the last time you took a vacation?”
He narrowed his eyes at his friend, suspecting that there was more to the question. “It’s been about eleven years or so, I believe. Why?”
“That long, hm? Are you so used to working that you can’t enjoy yourself?” Zaizen asked, ignoring his question.
Yagami paused a moment before answering, wondering what the other man was getting at. “On the contrary, I’m enjoying myself greatly.” True, he hadn’t drunk as much sake as he might have in the past, but getting drunk wasn’t what he had wanted to do.
“I see. You just seem rather distant, and I was wondering if something was wrong.” Yagami had no idea of Zaizen intended to guilt him into admitting something, but he was certainly feeling guilty now. Was it because of the secret he was hiding? No, it was definitely because of that.
“I…” But what could he say? Stalling would only make him seem more suspicious. “The last vacation I was on was with Keiko,” he said at last. At least it was the truth, even if it was a rather stretched truth.
“I understand, but I think there’s more to it.” Yagami winced and stared down at his tea, unable to look Zaizen in the face. So his words had sounded as weak to his friend as they had to him. He froze as a hand landed on his shoulder, unable to keep from flushing in shame. “Yagami…is whatever it is so terrible that you can’t even tell me? I want to know. Please.”
There it was again, that begging tone. He knew now that Zaizen valued him highly, and it was because of that mutual respect that he refused to voice his secret. He hated making his friend worry like this, but silence seemed the better option than the truth.
Undeterred, Zaizen continued to press. “Have the remnants of the Innovators threatened you, or your team? Or have our new enemies made a move against you? Are…are you ill in any way?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” Yagami looked up then, seeing his pain reflected in Zaizen’s expression. “It’s you. I…” A part of him longed to say the words, but then he remembered Keiko and Yuki and looked away again.
“You love me, right?”
Those words were so simple, so plain, that Yagami wasn’t sure he had heard correctly. But when he dared to look back at Zaizen, he saw that he had been right. Zaizen had said what he hadn’t been able to. “Yes. Yes I do,” he said brokenly, closing his eyes and curling his hands into fists. There. It was out, and could never be taken back. “Forgive me, Keiko,” he whispered, feeling like his heart was breaking all over again.
“Yagami…” Zaizen murmured, sounding almost as torn as he felt. Yagami half-expected him to pull away or reject him in some other manner. As such, he stiffened in shock as strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a tight hug.
“What are you doing?” he asked shakily, barely believing what was happening. Zaizen was hugging him, almost as if he accepted what Yagami had said.
“Comforting you,” was the simple reply. When Yagami remained tense, he added, “It’s alright Yagami, relax. I’m here for you now.”
“You don’t mind that I said that?” Yagami asked, somehow even more confused by the situation.
“Mind? Not at all.” He couldn’t help but smile faintly as Zaizen chuckled softly in his ear, giving him a squeeze as he did so. “I also must confess that I’ve been keeping my own feelings from you for a while now.” His friend pulled back so that they were looking at each other and said simply, “I love you, Yagami. Truly, I do.”
“How long have you known?” Looking back, it was obvious that Zaizen had been flirting with him, but Yagami had been too wrapped up in his own feelings to even realize what was happening.
“Since before the election, although I believe you held feeling for me prior to that.” Zaizen raised a hand and ran his fingers through some strands of hair that had slipped loose from his braid, and Yagami sighed and nodded to show he was right. He still didn’t quite believe that they loved each other, but he supposed admitting their feelings was a good place to start.
“What now?” he asked, straightening the edge of Zaizen’s yukata where it had become crooked from the hug. Zaizen smiled at the gesture, clearly amused.
“It’s up to you. I don’t want to rush you into anything, despite my earlier forcefulness. Please forgive me for that.”
“I do. It was needed, I think. I may not have said anything to you ever, otherwise.” Yagami picked up his cold tea and drained it, hoping the now-bitter liquid would help to clear his mind.
“No, I think you would have admitted your love, in time,” Zaizen said as he poured them both a fresh cup, shooing away Yagami’s hand when he tried to take the teapot from him. “I realize that you still care deeply for your wife and child, but I’m honoured that you’re allowing me a place in your heart beside them.”
Yagami paused with his teacup halfway to his mouth, surprised and touched by his words. “I feel the same with regards to Touko,” he said after he had taken a sip, deciding that it was also an honour to love the man who had raised such a wonderful child. Still, he couldn’t forget the bigger picture. “Theoretically, how exactly would a relationship work between us? You are my employer and jailer, as well as a former Prime Minister.”
Zaizen stretched and shifted so that their knees were touching. “That is a good question, but one I’m not willing to deal with now. How about we simply relax, drink some tea, and look at the moon?”
Somehow, he wasn’t surprised by that response. “Very well,” Yagami allowed. He would enjoy this trip with Zaizen, then try and sort out what exactly he wanted.
- - -
“Yagami?”
“Mm?”
“Theoretically, do you want a relationship with me? Since we could love each other but not be involved, so to speak.”
Yagami kept his eyes fixed on the road, considering the question. It hurt to admit the truth, but he wanted to be honest now. “Theoretically, I think I do.” He was still uncertain as to what type of relationship he wanted with Zaizen, but he knew that he wanted one that went beyond the bounds of friendship.
“I see. Do you think Touko would hate me if I bought her a new hat? I know she loves the one she has, but it is getting old…” Yagami glanced over at Zaizen and smiled at his worried expression. The trials a father went through for his daughter were painful indeed.
“I doubt she’ll hate you. Dislike you for a month or so, yes. Perhaps you could buy her something soccer-related to balance it out?” he suggested as he pulled into the parking lot of a shopping mall, the first of many they would visit this day.
“Now that you mention it, I believe she’s friends with a soccer player here in Osaka…” Zaizen said thoughtfully, then clapped him on the shoulder. “Feel up to a reconnaissance mission, Yagami?”
“Anything for you, sir,” he replied promptly, and they shared a smile.
“Glad to hear it. Now, here’s the plan…”
- - -
“Pity we missed the cherry blossoms,” Zaizen commented as they shuffled along with the crowd coming from the Shoryo-e Festival. Yagami had attended it once as a boy, but he remembered little of it, so was happy to go again. Zaizen had seen it many times, but had said that he could see the performances a million times and not tire of them.
“They’ll be back next year,” Yagami replied, looking up as the passed underneath one of the trees. A few blossoms were still present, but the majority of them had fallen.
“As, I hope, will we.”
“We’ll see how things go,” the detective said guardedly, causing Zaizen to chuckle.
“Aren’t security personnel supposed to be always looking forward? Or was I lied to by my detail?” Zaizen joked as they joined a line for a street vendor.
“There’s a difference between looking forward and making plans too far in advance,” Yagami patiently explained. “If no catastrophe strikes next spring that requires our attention, I’d be happy to visit Osaka again with you.”
“That was a very roundabout way to say yes,” Zaizen said once they put in their orders.
“Considering my history, you should realize the reason why,” Yagami replied, paying for the snacks before Zaizen had a chance to object. “I’ll treat you for once,” he added, handing the man several skewers filled with tsukune.
“Since you insist…thank you!” Zaizen said as gracefully as he could, blowing on the meatballs to cool them.
“Do keep in mind that I intend to pay you back for the several meals you bought,” Yagami reminded as they walked back towards where he had parked the car.
“Do security personnel also have long memories, or is that just you?” Zaizen complained around a mouthful of chicken.
“Both,” he answered, causing his friend to groan.
- - -
Rain had started to fall while they were driving back to the inn, so they were unable to view the moon on their last night, but Yagami was fine with simply being able to spend time with Zaizen. They had returned to their respective rooms after supper, but the man was restless, unable to focus on anything for any length of time yet not tired enough to go to bed. He had taken a bath earlier, so he couldn’t even do that to try and settle his mind.
Yagami figured the reason he was so restless was because he was still waging an internal conflict over his love for Zaizen versus the love he still held for Keiko. Admitting his feelings had been a good starting point to resolving the conflict, but it was only the first step in the process. He had told himself that he would wait until they returned to Tokio to figure everything out, but it was clear that he couldn’t delay any longer. Perhaps another conversation with Zaizen would help.
Digging out his CCM, he sent a message to his friend and listened to the sound of the rain pounding against the roof as he waited for an answer. When it vibrated in his hand a few minutes later, he read the response and smiled.
Yagami, why in the world would I be busy? No need to knock - come on in!
Returning his CCM to where it had been, he straightened his yukata and went over to Zaizen’s room, hesitating a moment before sliding the door open. Zaizen was seated cross-legged on the floor, which didn’t surprise him, but was surprising was the LBX on the floor in front of him. He recognized the LBX as a being the Musha model produced by Cyber Lance, and so watched from the doorway as Zaizen attempted to operate it. His practiced eye quickly noticed the problems the man was having, and he decided to help him out.
Sliding the door shut behind him, Yagami went over and sat down behind Zaizen, murmuring, “You were right, you do need practice.”
“Indeed, I do,” was the slightly irritated response.
Yagami smiled at that and asked,. “May I try?” Zaizen offered it up, and Yagami manipulated the CCM’s keypad, accustoming himself to Musha’s response times and behaviour. It was very different from his General, both in design and armaments, but he had used enough LBXs in the past to have passing knowledge of most models. “Alright, show me again.”
Zaizen sighed and tensed, clearly unhappy at his lack of ability, but relaxed when Yagami squeezed his shoulder in support. Musha’s movements clearly lagged in comparison to Yagami’s handling when Zaizen operated it, but this time the detective chose to focus his attention on Zaizen’s method of using the CCM.
“Stop,” Yagami ordered after a few minutes, pressing his right arm to Zaizen’s and cupping the hand that held the CCM, aligning their fingers as best he could. “Don’t fight me, just relax and watch what I’m doing. Ready?”
Zaizen chuckled and said, “As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose. Just give me a moment...” Before Yagami had a chance to respond, his friend was leaning back into his chest, obviously comfortable with being so intimate. Yagami shifted ever so slightly so he could see the CCM clearly, then hesitantly slid his free arm around Zaizen’s waist. It was a bold move, but one that he thought felt right for the situation. The other man didn’t seem to mind, going so far as to rest his left hand atop Yagami’s.
Giving himself a second to adjust to this next stage in their relationship, Yagami took a deep breath and began to carefully guide Zaizen through the basics of using the Musha model. Once he understood, Zaizen learned quickly, and was soon operating the LBX without Yagami’s help.
As he watched the orange-and-white machine go through some simple attack and defence patterns, he realized that he hadn’t been this physically close to someone since Keiko had died. The thought both pleased and frightened him, but he tried to consider what his wife would say about it. It was something he had been avoiding, wishing to treasure her memory and her love for him. But it wasn’t fair to Zaizen to keep loving a ghost, no matter how much his friend said he understood Yagami’s feelings. Keiko…he imagined that she would be supportive of his decision to love Zaizen, especially after closing himself off for so long. Would she approve of them being intimate, though? He had only had a few relationships prior to meeting Keiko, and while she had never seemed jealous of them when they were together, Zaizen was neither his equal or a teenager.
“What are you thinking about, Yagami?” The question made him blink, embarrassed that he had gotten lost in thought during something like this.
“Keiko and how she might feel about us.”
“That sounds like a very serious line of thought for a vacation. Still, if it’s bothering you, it’s better to deal with it now. Have you figured anything out?” Zaizen sounded rather resigned to having this particular conversation, but his tone remained gentle.
“I think that on the whole, she would be accepting of this. As I said in the past, you two would have probably gotten along well.” Touko and Yuki probably would have been friends as well, or at least friendly towards each other.
“But?”
“Zaizen…” Yagami paused, weighing his words. “To be blunt, your position and mine are far from the same, and I’m uncertain if we could ever overcome that.” Yes, they were friends, but being lovers was something entirely different, and the unknown consequences of being with Zaizen scared him.
“Oh, Yagami.” Zaizen sighed and sat up straighter, shifting so that he was able to look at Yagami. The man was surprised at the pang of loss he felt when his friend moved away, but he shoved that aside to focus on Zaizen’s next words.
“Given our respective pasts, I can understand why you might be uncomfortable, but please know that I don’t care about that.” Zaizen paused and smiled, correcting himself by saying, “Alright, I might still be slightly angry that your former employers tried to kill me, but it wasn’t your finger on the trigger. As for the matter of my being your jailer…” His friend trailed off, instead raising a hand and playing with the end of Yagami’s braid. “While I will remain as such, I think we both understand that is more symbolic than anything at this point.”
Yagami opened his mouth, intending to protest, but then closed it again, reconsidering. “You’re right about that,” he admitted at last. “Still, it would make me feel better if myself and my team were punished in some way.”
“And it is that conscience of yours which proves to me that you truly regret your actions,” Zaizen replied, giving him a poke in the chest. “Your punishment has been the hard work you have done for the people of Japan since you came into my service, and I will recommend to Tougou that he should continue to use you for such tasks.”
Yagami nodded, seeing exactly what the former Prime Minister wanted of him. “I will be bound by confidentiality agreements, but I will pass along whatever I can,” he confirmed, getting a pleased nod in return.
“As for our uneven positions, we’ll work at it and figure things out as we go along. I love you, and I want you to be comfortable with whatever we do. What do you say?” Zaizen asked softly, and Yagami swallowed hard.
“Zai-no, Sousuke…Will you come with me to their graves once we get back?” he asked hoarsely, fighting to get the words out past the tightness in his chest.
“I will, Eiji,” Sousuke promised, smiling fondly at him.
Somewhere, Keiko and Yuki were looking down on him, and he knew that he would still love them both even when he was old and grey. But it was time to let them go and face his future with the one he loved.
“Then I say yes,” he stated firmly, feeling in his heart that he was doing the right thing. Sousuke’s delighted smile only strengthened his desire to be with him, and Yagami decided to seal the matter the traditional way. Without giving his new lover much time to react, he leaned in and kissed him softly, feeling that the gaping hole in his heart was finally starting to fill back in.
Fandom: Danball Senki
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Character Study
Rating: PG
Pairing: Zaizen/Yagami
Wordcount: 8,823
Warning: Spoilers through to Danball Senki Wars.
Summary: His job was to gather intelligence for Zaizen and to help protect the people of Japan. With his past, Yagami couldn't expect anything else, even if there was a possibility of something more.
“Zaizen Sousuke’s governing party has been voted out of power by a wide margin, failing to gain even two-thirds of the votes it got in the last election. Tougou Giichi’s party seems set to take over as the next government of Japan.” Yagami closed the video streaming link then, disappointed in himself. He had been unable to help Zaizen remain in power. Those who wished to get Zaizen out of office to promote for their own agendas had succeeded where the Innovators had failed.
He wouldn’t call Zaizen, not tonight. He would be selfish and enjoy one more night of freedom before his jail term started. Unlike for Professor Yamano, there would be no trial for him or his team. Just a car ride in handcuffs to the jail. Making sure to put his CCM on silent, he left the office and headed for his favourite bar.
Thankfully, he was already somewhat awake when the knock came at his door. Getting up slowly and regretting drinking so much the night before, he carefully walked over to the door and unlocked it. Taking a deep breath, he opened it, trying not to wince as the light from the hallway hit his face.
“Zaizen…san?” He hadn’t expected Zaizen to be present for his arrest, but perhaps it was only natural for him to be there. The man was alone though, so he assumed the police were waiting outside the apartment complex.
“Morning, Yagami,” Zaizen said pleasantly, looking slightly tired but appearing far happier than someone who just lost an election should be. “Are you up for some breakfast?”
“I…breakfast?” Yagami stared. “Am I not going to be arrested?”
“Arrested?” Zaizen looked surprised, then realization dawned on his face. “Ah, that. No, I still need you by my side. I may not be Prime Minister anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’ve given up on my people.”
“I see. Breakfast would be wonderful.” And perhaps it would help reduce the pounding headache he had. “Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be down.”
“Not going to invite me in?” Zaizen said playfully.
“Not until you invite me to your home,” he responded, not caring that he was probably being rude or that his heart beat faster at the thought of seeing where Zaizen lived.
Zaizen raised and eyebrow, smirked and nodded. “It’s a date, then. My home isn’t as nice as the Prime Minister’s residence, but it’s not too shabby.”
Yagami blinked, surprised that he had agreed so readily. Then he nodded and went to try and look like he hadn’t spent half the night drinking, leaving his apartment a few minutes later sucking on a breath mint and wearing the darkest pair of sunglasses he had.
Zaizen had also donned the sunglasses and hat he had worn to Yagami’s office, and as they went down the stairs and out into the cool winter morning, Yagami thought they probably looked like a pair of detectives from an old book he had read once. Forced to stop and wait for his eyes to adjust from the bright sunshine, he frowned and regretted drinking so much the night before.
“Had a rough night?” Zaizen asked lightly as they got into the car. Thankful for the tinted windows, Yagami nodded.
“I…may have went overboard a little,” he admitted, staring down at his hands.
“Well, if I thought it was my last night of freedom, I probably would have done something similar. If you enjoyed yourself and didn’t cause any trouble, I don’t see a problem.”
Yagami looked up then, seeing that Zaizen was looking at him with a small smile on his face. “Sorry…” he mumbled, still feeling guilty. “How bad do I look?”
“Hm…not too bad, all things considered. If you keep the sunglasses on until we get inside, people will probably just assume you’re my bodyguard. Plus, I promise that the breakfast we’ll have will help you feel better.” Zaizen grinned, clearly in a good mood.
“Zaizen…” Yagami hesitated, not sure how to approach the topic. “You just lost the election. Shouldn’t…Shouldn’t there be other things you should be doing right now?”
“Instead of having breakfast with you, you mean? Probably.” The man leaned back in his seat, looking out the window with a thoughtful expression. “Touko has practice, and my staff is cleaning out my office, so there’s no one in particular I could spend my time with. I suppose I could be out giving interviews, but I’ve done that for the last month, and frankly, I’m tired of doing them. I won’t be meeting with my party members until tomorrow at the earliest, and the thought of breakfast with some of them isn’t exactly appetizing.” Zaizen looked back at Yagami and smiled again, adding, “So while I could be doing something else, I’m choosing to spend my time with you, Yagami.”
“I-I’m touched, sir,” was all he could manage to say around the lump in is throat. Did he really mean that much to Zaizen? They were friends, yes, but he had always assumed it was a professional friendship of sorts. Yagami saw now that he had been wrong about that for a while. He should have noticed it earlier, but his fight to keep his feelings under control had clouded his vision and made him misinterpret the signs. Some detective he was.
There was still something bothering him, though. “I’m sorry my team and I failed you, Zaizen. We should have done more.”
“You did the best you could, that’s all that matters. And who knows, perhaps we were wrong and this new school will help world peace,” Zaizen said, obviously trying to cheer him up.
“You don’t believe that for a second,” he replied flatly, causing his friend to chuckle.
“Ah, you know me too well, Yagami! I don’t believe that. But we were prepared for this outcome, and I fully intend to run in the next election.” The car stopped then, and Yagami realized they were at their destination. Adjusting his sunglasses against the coming sunshine, he told himself to cheer up and enjoy the meal that was to come.
Yagami stared at the case file open on the screen in front of him, trying to fit everything together. He knew when and where the person had gone missing, but the why was stumping him. Their personal life was calm, and they seemed happy enough at work. There was always the chance they were dead, but he considered that to be unlikely. He was missing something, that much was clear.
His CCM went off, startling him. Glancing at the time as he pulled it out, he figured there were only a few people who would call him this late. As his gaze landed on the name of the caller, he smiled and answered the call. “Good evening, Zaizen. What may I do for you?”
“Good evening, Yagami. I know it’s an odd time, but would you like to come over for a late dinner?”
Yagami didn’t even have to think about his answer. “I’d love to.”
“Excellent. My driver will be there in twenty minutes. I’ll see you then!”
“Until then,” he replied, flipping his CCM shut as the call ended.
His friend was waiting for him when he arrived nearly an hour later, looking more relaxed that Yagami had ever seen him. As the detective admired the grey wool sweater Zaizen wore, it struck him that this was the first time he had seen his friend not wearing a suit.
“Sorry for not giving you time to freshen up,” Zaizen said apologetically as Yagami slid on a pair of slippers. The front entrance was larger than most yet modest, and a quick look around showed him that Zaizen’s personality was everywhere. As was Touko’s, judging by the soccer cleats in the shoe rack and the soccer ball partially hidden by a potted plant.
“Don’t worry about it.” It had been a cool day and he had spent most of it inside, so it wasn’t like he had gotten too sweaty.
“If you wish, you could have a bath, or-”
“Zaizen,” Yagami said firmly, cutting him off. “I’m fine, really. I’m a detective, not a construction worker.”
Zaizen looked surprised, then he chuckled and said, “I suppose you’re right. Dinner isn’t quite ready yet, so how about a drink to start?”
“Sounds good.”
As Zaizen led him down a hallway, he asked over his shoulder, “What would you like? We’ve got sake, various wines, or whiskey if you’d like something with a bit more kick. There’s tea and coffee if you’d rather that.”
“Hm…” Yagami considered his options and they entered Zaizen’s study, realizing that he did want to unwind a little. “What kind of wines do you have?”
“There’s some lovely Tendu wine, as well as several bottles of Kyoutamba and a good selection of Kobe wine. The Ikeda wine is my favourite, though,” Zaizen answered, looking pleased at his decision.
“You only have Japanese wines?” Yagami asked, surprised by the selection.
“I do. I feel that it is important to support local industries. While I do enjoy international wines, I only drink them if they are the only wine available at public events and the like,” Zaizen confirmed with a nod.
“An interesting choice…Ikeda it is. I’ll leave it up to you to choose the year.”
“An excellent pick, Yagami. I think you’ll enjoy the bottle of ‘33 I have.” The smile Zaizen gave him then made his stomach twist into a knot, but Yagami ignored it and settled into a chair. He wouldn’t allow his feelings for Zaizen to mar his enjoyment of the evening to come.
As they waited for their drinks to arrive, Yagami looked around the study and noticed that it felt a lot like Zaizen’s office, except the chairs were more comfortable and it had more books. Pictures of Touko were scattered about the room, and he noticed that she was wearing a soccer jersey in many of them. “Is your daughter home tonight?”
“No, not tonight. She’s away visiting friends, and probably playing soccer with them too.” Zaizen smiled, clearly proud of his daughter. And so he should be, considering what she had done for Japan.
“I’m sure she’s having a good time.” She had seemed like a very nice girl that time he had met her after practice, and he could already tell that she would grow up to be a fine young lady. “When is her next home game?”
“Next Saturday, I believe. Thinking of coming?”
“If my current case allows it, yes.”
“Wonderful. She’s asked about you, you know. I think she rather likes you, or at least your hair,” Zaizen said with a grin.
“My hair?” Puzzled, Yagami ran a hand through the strands that brushed his cheek. He had let it grow after the death of Keiko, more focused on preventing another tragedy than on his appearance, and had eventually grown accustomed to having it long.
“Apparently she likes people with long hair. I advise you not to cut it short like it was in the past, otherwise you might break her heart,” Zaizen explained, than added with a wink, “And possibly mine too.”
“I-I see…” Their wine arrived then, and Yagami tried to control his blush as he took a sip. To his delight, the wine has a lovely flavour to it, and so he used it to change the topic. “You were right, Zaizen, this is excellent.”
“I’m glad you like it.” The conversation moved on to wines and various other alcoholic beverages, Yagami finding that his knowledge of drinks was actually useful outside of a case for once. Zaizen seemed to know a lot as well, and they continued to talk as they sat down to dinner. Zaizen had a Western-style dining room, but there were traditional elements everywhere.
While the meal was delicious, Yagami found himself distracted by other matters despite his attempt to keep up a light conversation. Mainly, the matter of his feelings towards Zaizen. He had done his best to ignore them during the intervening months since his realization of them, not wishing to dwell on something he was unable to change. But they had persisted, so now he was trying to distract himself with thoughts of Keiko and Yuki. Keiko held a piece of his heart still, and he was unwilling to abandon her love and her memory to someone he could never have.
“What are you thinking about?”
Looking up at Zaizen’s question, he realized he had been staring into his wine for a good minute without taking a drink. He was tempted to lie and say his case was distracting him, but the truth won out in the end. “Keiko,” he said simply, putting down his wine and looking directly at the other man.
“Ah. Do you still think about her and Yuki a lot?” Zaizen’s tone was soft, and his expression was gentle. It was clear that Yagami could end this conversation if he wanted to, but something made him keep talking.
“I do…even after all these years, I’m still not used to sleeping alone. Or to hearing silence when I come home.” Yagami bit his lip, trying to control his emotions. “Once she was old enough to talk, Yuki always greeted me in the morning before I left, and she used to say that she was so proud of me for catching the bad guys…”
“I like to believe most daughters are proud of their fathers if their fathers are in our lines of work. I know Touko is proud of me, and has been ever since she was a little girl. When she’s gone the house feels…different.” Zaizen frowned, and Yagami nodded, understanding that feeling all too well.
“What will you do when she moves out?” Yagami asked, trying to lighten to mood.
“I haven’t the faintest idea. Go get drunk with you, perhaps?” They both smiled at that, then Zaizen asked, “Care for some dessert?”
“Sure. Could you thank the chef for working so late? This meal has been wonderful.”
“I could, or you could do it yourself. Masumi-san should still be back there,” Zaizen replied, jerking his thumb in the general direction of the kitchen.
Yagami hesitated, then said slowly, “If you’ll excuse me…”
“No problem. Third door on your right.” Bolstered by the smile his friend gave him, the man rose and went to find the chef.
Five in the morning was early, even for him, but Yagami knew he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. He had had a restless night, plagued by dreams of Keiko and Yuki. It had left him tired and angry at himself. He had already made his decision - he would simply watch Zaizen and respect him that way, rather than endangering their relationship by admitting what he felt. So why did it feel like the wrong choice?
Sitting up and rubbing his face, he decided that a nice long shower would make him feel better. As he slid his legs over the side of the bed, Yagami noticed that his CCM screen was showing the message icon. Curious, he grabbed it and flipped it open, opening the message was a few clicks of the keypad.
I checked with Touko and she would love to see you at her next match. It starts at three, so be sure to go early to avoid the traffic. Also, I would appreciate it if you kept your caseload light for the next month or so. Have a good day! - Zaizen
“Why are you awake this early…?” he mumbled as he confirmed that he would be there, unable to keep from smiling at the mysterious suggestion in the message. Zaizen was obviously planning something, but he wouldn’t ruin the surprise by investigating until he knew more.
Yagami winced but grinned as Zaizen gave a shrill whistle from beside him, the noise being swallowed up by the roar of the crowd that filled the stadium. When Zaizen had said soccer match, he had been imagining something smaller than a full-fledged soccer stadium. But the energy of the fans had lifted his spirits, and he found he was enjoying himself immensely. Touko’s team was powerful, but their opponent seemed to be evenly matched to them. As the first half ended, Zaizen settled back in his seat, a big grin on his face.
“Touko’s playing well,” Yagami commented once he could hear himself speak.
“Yes, she’s doing very well. The new team members are responding to her nicely,” his friend said with a nod. Zaizen was wearing his usual hat and sunglasses public outfit, but Yagami suspected that some of the people around them knew who they were seated with.
“That’s right, some of the other members retired after the election. Is Tougou a soccer fan as well?”
“I don’t think so, but he might show up at a game or two to show his support for the sport.” Zaizen shrugged, then asked, “Do you want anything? I’m going to go grab a drink.”
“No, I’m fine. Shall I come with you?” Despite the fact that Zaizen was no longer the Prime Minister, Yagami still feared that their enemies might make another attempt on his life to ensure he didn’t cause any more trouble.
Zaizen squeezed his shoulder and shook his head. “I’ll be fine, Yagami. I’m well-protected, even here.” Giving him and easy smile, the man rose and made his way towards the steps. Still feeling the weight of Zaizen’s hand on his shoulder, the detective took another look around and saw some familiar faces - off-duty Special Police members, including former team mates of Touko’s, were seated in a loose circle around them. One of them noticed Yagami’s look and gave him a polite nod before looking away. Reassured, he settled back in his seat and wondered which team would score first.
Zaizen returned a few minutes later, carrying two cups. Realizing what he had done, Yagami opened his mouth to refuse, but was cut off.
“Try it. Try it and thank me later,” his friend said firmly, so Yagami simply nodded and accepted the cup. Aware that he was being watched, he took a tentative sip, his eyes widening at the taste.
“Orange and…mint tea?”
“Yep! I’ve had it here before, and I thought you would like it. Looks like I was correct,” Zaizen said with a laugh, then waved as Yagami reached for his wallet. “No, no, it’s my treat. I insist.”
“Very well. But I will pay you back for all of this eventually,” Yagami muttered, giving him a sharp look. He did earn a salary, so he was able to pay for things.
“Eventually, yes. Of that, I have no doubt.” The crowd started to cheer as the players came back onto the pitch, and Zaizen whistled as Touko appeared, clearly proud of his daughter. Yagami just smiled as the second half began and took a drink of his tea, eager to see the rest of the game.
“Yo!” Zaizen grinned and waved as Yagami rolled down the car window, bags resting by his feet. “You sure you don’t mind driving?”
“It’s the least I can do. Let’s get going before the morning traffic ties everything up,” Yagami said, and his friend nodded and picked up his luggage and went to put it in the trunk. After much pressing, Zaizen had finally told him that he was going on a short trip to an inn near Osaka, and that he wanted Yagami to join him. The detective had agreed to come, on the condition that he drove them there. Zaizen had objected, but he had insisted, saying it would be cheaper than using Zaizen’s driver.
“Please tell me that’s coffee,” Zaizen said as he got into the car, and Yagami smiled and nodded. “Excellent. I needed something to wake me up.”
“Late night?” Yagami asked as they pulled out of the driveway.
“No, not overly so. I didn’t sleep that well for some reason.”
“Those nights happen.” Thankfully, he had gotten a decent rest, free of dreams of any sort. “If you want to take a nap, go ahead. We have a four hour drive ahead of us, anyway.”
“Indeed. Depending on what the coffee does to me, I may just do that.”
They fell into light conversation as they moved through Tokio, Yagami filling Zaizen in on the most recent case he had solved. It had been a relatively simple case - figuring out the culprit behind a blackmailing scheme - but he had enjoyed the work nonetheless. By the time they reached the outskirts of the city, Zaizen was dozing, so Yagami kept quiet and focused on the road.
The drive between Tokio and Osaka was nothing spectacular since he was taking the most direct route, but it was nice to get out of the city and into the mountains again. The hum of the tires of the road was soothing, and while some might call highway driving monotonous due to the endless tunnels and mountainous scenery, Yagami didn’t mind. It was better than staring at a computer screen all day. Zaizen was still asleep when he stopped for a bathroom break and a late breakfast two hours later, so the detective let him be and ate quickly, occasionally glancing over at his friend. Zaizen’s face was peaceful, and Yagami wondered if he was dreaming about anything.
His friend woke up as Yagami was pulling away from a toll booth. Yawning and stretching as much as he could in his seat, Zaizen asked sleepily, “How are along are we?”
“Nearly there. About another forty-five minutes or so?”
Zaizen sat up straighter at that. “I was more tired that I thought…sorry for being such a terrible travel companion.”
Yagami looked away from the road for a second to smile at him. “It’s fine, really. I’m used to my own company. There’s a breakfast sandwich for you in the dash.”
“Ah, thank you. Still, I promise I’ll be more alert on the way back,” Zaizen said as he unwrapped his food, looking mildly upset.
“Mm-hmm.”
“You don’t believe me?”
Zaizen sounded surprised, and the man fought to keep his expression serious as he replied, “No, I believe you. You almost always keep your word.”
“‘Almost always’? Why Zaizen, it almost sounds like you’re challenging me!” Zaizen’s tone had turned playful, which only made it harder for Yagami to keep a straight face.
“Challenging you, sir? I would never do that.”
“So you are challenging me. Challenge accepted, then! I’ll be wide awake for the return trip, just you wait and see! Perhaps you’ll even let me drive…?”
“Absolutely not.” Yagami knew that Zaizen could drive, but he suspected his friend was long out of practice, and highway driving was something one needed practice for.
“I do have a licence,” Zaizen pressed, and a quick glance showed that he was smirking.
“When was the last time you drove on a highway? If it was within the last five years, I might consider it.” When the man beside him didn’t answer, Yagami considered the ‘argument’ over and smiled to himself. Victory was his.
Sliding down deeper into the steaming water, Yagami sighed in happiness and decided that this was worth the four plus hours of driving. The inn was fairly new by Japanese standards, but it was still a very traditional place and due to the time of year, quiet.
Hearing the door to the male side of the bath slid open, Yagami straightened slightly and wondered if it was Zaizen. There was another male guest, a young foreigner who was travelling around Japan for a year. He seemed friendly enough, so he hoped the young man wouldn’t cause any trouble.
“You look ridiculous with your hair like that.” Feeling a rush go through him at Zaizen’s words, Yagami made sure not to look over his shoulder as the other man prepared to enter the hot spring. He had thought he had been mentally prepared to share the bath with Zaizen, but now he was doubting that decision. It was too late to do anything about it, however, so he resolved to press on.
“I thought it would be best if I tied it back.” He had coiled in in a tight bun in order to keep it out of the water, but the amount of hair he had made if difficult to do so neatly.
“An excellent idea, but there must be a nicer way to do so. Would you be offended if I braid it?” Zaizen offered, and Yagami stiffened, conflicting feelings preventing him from replying. When he didn’t answer, the man added, “I’m a bit rusty at it, but Touko always seemed to like it when she was little…”
Sincerely glad he didn’t have to look Zaizen in the face, Yagami said slowly, “I…I would not be offended, Zaizen.” If Keiko could see him now, she would be laughing at him, he was certain of that.
“Good. I’ll be with you in a minute.” Yagami tried not to fidget while he waited, hoping that his red cheeks would be blamed on the heat of the bath. He made sure to avert his gaze as Zaizen lowered himself into the water beside him, sighing softly as he did so. “Whenever you’re ready, Yagami.”
Nodding silently, the detective breathed out and shifted so that his back was to Zaizen. As his bun was undone, Yagami tried to focus on something aside from the fingers slowly combing his damp hair. Tilting his head down, he started at the steam rising from the water, feeling the tension drain from his shoulders and back. He liked this, that much he would admit to himself. Keiko had never paid much attention to his hair, but Yuki had liked to play with it sometimes. His daughter probably would have loved to see him with long hair, and he imagined that she might have braided it much like Zaizen was doing now.
“Say something if I’m pulling too hard or anything,” Zaizen murmured quietly, and Yagami nodded in reply. The other man was being gentle, that much he could tell. There was silence as Zaizen continued his work, Yagami sensing him gaining more confidence as he went along. Once the braid was complete, his hair was put back into a bun, this once much tighter and neater than Yagami’s previous attempt.
Rolling his head around as he adjusted to the unfamiliar weight, Yagami settled back against the side of the back, looking over at Zaizen, unable to keep from admiring the other man’s chest. He seemed to be keeping in shape, at least. “Thank you,” he said sincerely, pleased at the attention despite himself.
“You’re welcome,” Zaizen replied, looking happy as he sunk lower into the bath. “Unfortunately, my hair is far too short to do anything with.”
“Perhaps you should grow it?”
“I did wear it a little bit longer in the past…” Zaizen reached up and ran a hand through his side swept bangs, then added thoughtfully, “I may have to let it grow out again.”
“Would Touko mind?” Like her father, Touko seemed very straightforward, and he had a feeling she would object strongly if her father did something she didn’t like.
“I…have no idea. I’ll have to ask her about it,” Zaizen answered with a laugh then breathed in deeply. “Ah, this is nice. Thanks for coming with me, Yagami.”
“We both needed a vacation.” Really, they needed one ever since Mizel, but things had kept interrupting any plans to take one.
“Indeed. Although I honestly thought I’d have to drag you out of your office before you’d go on one,” Zaizen said, flicking water at him.
Yagami gave him a sharp look and flicked some water back. The innkeeper wouldn’t be happy if they made too much of a mess, so he held back from splashing his friend any more. “As you found out, all you had to do was tell me to take a vacation. I could say the same about you as well,” he said after a moment, knowing that his friend had meant no offence.
“Oh, don’t I know it!” Zaizen tipped his head back and looked up at the evening sky. “I probably would have waited until summer to take one, but Touko insisted that now was as good a time as any.”
Yagami nodded, easily imagining that conversation. Keiko had sometimes pestered him about things he kept putting off as well. “Do you have any particular plans while you’re here?”
“My parents live nearby, so I’ll be going to see them and some other family members. Other than that, just relax and take in a few of the local attractions. You?”
Yagami hadn’t realized that Zaizen had relatives in the region, but he supposed it made sense. “Nothing in particular, really.” He hadn’t given much thought to what he was going to do, partly because the trip had been so sudden but partly because he had never been much of a tourist. Perhaps he could ask the travelling young man for some tips.
“We should do something together, then,” Zaizen commented, then said, “Up for some sake after supper? The innkeeper says he has some excellent bottles in stock.”
Yagami hesitated, realized that he wanted to spend as much time with Zaizen as possible, as selfish as it was. “That sounds like a wonderful way to spend the evening.”
“Drinks it is,” Zaizen said, sounding truly relaxed for the first time in months. Sliding deeper into the water, Yagami closed his eyes and breathed out, telling himself that the rest of the night would go smoothly.
Yagami leaned back against the frame of the open sliding door, staring up at the full moon. It was probably too early in the year to have the door open, but he didn’t mind the cool night air despite only wearing a grey yukata and the undergarment that went with it. He and Zaizen had shared a bottle of sake once supper was concluded, and now his friend was busy making tea in his own room which he would bring over shortly.
As he admired the silver moon, Yagami fingered the end of his braid, rather liking the change in hairstyle. It was heavier than he was used to, but he had looked in a mirror and concluded it looked good on him. Zaizen seemed to like it as well, so perhaps he would keep it braided until the end of their trip. He then winced at the thought, glancing towards the wall that separated their two rooms. He had to stop thinking like that. This wasn’t a date, after all. If he wasn’t careful, he might slip and reveal something to Zaizen. Doing so would make everything awkward, and he didn’t want their relationship to change.
A tap on his door made him turn, and he got up and went to it, smiling at the sight of Zaizen holding a tea tray when he opened it. “Come in,” he said formally, stepping aside.
“Don’t mind if I do,” Zaizen said casually, the walking carefully over to the table near the open door and setting the tray down. Like Yagami, he was dressed in a yukata, although his was the traditional dark blue colour, and the detective thought the colour suited him very nicely. Yagami saw him glance up at the moon as he walked back to join him, and noticed the smile on his face as he settled down next to him.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked softly as the tea was poured, and Zaizen nodded.
“Yes, very beautiful. Spring moons always have an air of elegance about them,” the man replied as he handed Yagami some tea, and he focused on the cup in his hands to avoid meeting Zaizen’s eyes. The sake might have loosened his tongue, and he didn’t want to say anything he might regret.
“Have you heard anything else about the new LBX school?” he asked in a effort to chance the subject, but he couldn’t help but notice the soft sigh Zaizen gave before he answered.
“Not a whole lot, and nothing through official channels. Tougou is being smart and keeping the details quiet until a public explanation for the school can be developed.”
“I’m certain they’ll come up with something soon, if construction is to start before the end of the year,” Yagami said, working out a mental timeline. If the school was constructed quickly, it would probably open in time for the 2053 Artemis tournament. But the Japanese government was also pouring millions into rebuilding the devastated areas of Tokio, so he wondered just where the money for the new school would come from, and what organizations would help to fund it.
“Tougou strikes me as the sort of man who would want to get started as soon as possible, so I expect an official announcement by summer,” Zaizen said, and Yagami thought about this as they drank their tea.
“I hope this doesn’t backfire on them,” he said eventually, still troubled by the idea of children fighting wars between each other.
“I suspect it will blow up in their faces at some point. I just pray that the students involved aren’t too badly hurt in the process,” Zaizen said sadly, and Yagami watched him silently as he looked up at the moon.
“If…when you get re-elected, what will you do?”
“I’m not sure. I suppose it depends on the state of the school and world politics at the time of the next election. Almost all of the Diet members support Tougou, and the opposing voices such as mine are few and far between. We can thank our enemies for that.” Zaizen took a breath, poured Yagami some more tea, and said, “Alright, enough gloomy talk! This is a vacation, so we shouldn’t be worrying over things we cannot change.”
“Then what do you suggest we talk about?” Yagami was at a loss for a good conversation starter, since he led a quiet life and didn’t exactly have much of a social life.
The look Zaizen gave him made him wish he had said something about soccer, because it was the look Zaizen gave whenever he had someone perfectly positioned to tell him what he wanted to know, regardless of whether or not the person wanted to tell him or not. Yagami had seen him use it on others, but had never been on the receiving end of it before and found it rather unnerving.
“Well…you, for starters.”
“Me?” Yagami took a drink of tea, suddenly finding that his mouth was dry. Surely whatever Zaizen wanted to know couldn’t be anything too serious, otherwise he would have raised the matter before now. “What about me?”
“When was the last time you took a vacation?”
He narrowed his eyes at his friend, suspecting that there was more to the question. “It’s been about eleven years or so, I believe. Why?”
“That long, hm? Are you so used to working that you can’t enjoy yourself?” Zaizen asked, ignoring his question.
Yagami paused a moment before answering, wondering what the other man was getting at. “On the contrary, I’m enjoying myself greatly.” True, he hadn’t drunk as much sake as he might have in the past, but getting drunk wasn’t what he had wanted to do.
“I see. You just seem rather distant, and I was wondering if something was wrong.” Yagami had no idea of Zaizen intended to guilt him into admitting something, but he was certainly feeling guilty now. Was it because of the secret he was hiding? No, it was definitely because of that.
“I…” But what could he say? Stalling would only make him seem more suspicious. “The last vacation I was on was with Keiko,” he said at last. At least it was the truth, even if it was a rather stretched truth.
“I understand, but I think there’s more to it.” Yagami winced and stared down at his tea, unable to look Zaizen in the face. So his words had sounded as weak to his friend as they had to him. He froze as a hand landed on his shoulder, unable to keep from flushing in shame. “Yagami…is whatever it is so terrible that you can’t even tell me? I want to know. Please.”
There it was again, that begging tone. He knew now that Zaizen valued him highly, and it was because of that mutual respect that he refused to voice his secret. He hated making his friend worry like this, but silence seemed the better option than the truth.
Undeterred, Zaizen continued to press. “Have the remnants of the Innovators threatened you, or your team? Or have our new enemies made a move against you? Are…are you ill in any way?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” Yagami looked up then, seeing his pain reflected in Zaizen’s expression. “It’s you. I…” A part of him longed to say the words, but then he remembered Keiko and Yuki and looked away again.
“You love me, right?”
Those words were so simple, so plain, that Yagami wasn’t sure he had heard correctly. But when he dared to look back at Zaizen, he saw that he had been right. Zaizen had said what he hadn’t been able to. “Yes. Yes I do,” he said brokenly, closing his eyes and curling his hands into fists. There. It was out, and could never be taken back. “Forgive me, Keiko,” he whispered, feeling like his heart was breaking all over again.
“Yagami…” Zaizen murmured, sounding almost as torn as he felt. Yagami half-expected him to pull away or reject him in some other manner. As such, he stiffened in shock as strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a tight hug.
“What are you doing?” he asked shakily, barely believing what was happening. Zaizen was hugging him, almost as if he accepted what Yagami had said.
“Comforting you,” was the simple reply. When Yagami remained tense, he added, “It’s alright Yagami, relax. I’m here for you now.”
“You don’t mind that I said that?” Yagami asked, somehow even more confused by the situation.
“Mind? Not at all.” He couldn’t help but smile faintly as Zaizen chuckled softly in his ear, giving him a squeeze as he did so. “I also must confess that I’ve been keeping my own feelings from you for a while now.” His friend pulled back so that they were looking at each other and said simply, “I love you, Yagami. Truly, I do.”
“How long have you known?” Looking back, it was obvious that Zaizen had been flirting with him, but Yagami had been too wrapped up in his own feelings to even realize what was happening.
“Since before the election, although I believe you held feeling for me prior to that.” Zaizen raised a hand and ran his fingers through some strands of hair that had slipped loose from his braid, and Yagami sighed and nodded to show he was right. He still didn’t quite believe that they loved each other, but he supposed admitting their feelings was a good place to start.
“What now?” he asked, straightening the edge of Zaizen’s yukata where it had become crooked from the hug. Zaizen smiled at the gesture, clearly amused.
“It’s up to you. I don’t want to rush you into anything, despite my earlier forcefulness. Please forgive me for that.”
“I do. It was needed, I think. I may not have said anything to you ever, otherwise.” Yagami picked up his cold tea and drained it, hoping the now-bitter liquid would help to clear his mind.
“No, I think you would have admitted your love, in time,” Zaizen said as he poured them both a fresh cup, shooing away Yagami’s hand when he tried to take the teapot from him. “I realize that you still care deeply for your wife and child, but I’m honoured that you’re allowing me a place in your heart beside them.”
Yagami paused with his teacup halfway to his mouth, surprised and touched by his words. “I feel the same with regards to Touko,” he said after he had taken a sip, deciding that it was also an honour to love the man who had raised such a wonderful child. Still, he couldn’t forget the bigger picture. “Theoretically, how exactly would a relationship work between us? You are my employer and jailer, as well as a former Prime Minister.”
Zaizen stretched and shifted so that their knees were touching. “That is a good question, but one I’m not willing to deal with now. How about we simply relax, drink some tea, and look at the moon?”
Somehow, he wasn’t surprised by that response. “Very well,” Yagami allowed. He would enjoy this trip with Zaizen, then try and sort out what exactly he wanted.
“Yagami?”
“Mm?”
“Theoretically, do you want a relationship with me? Since we could love each other but not be involved, so to speak.”
Yagami kept his eyes fixed on the road, considering the question. It hurt to admit the truth, but he wanted to be honest now. “Theoretically, I think I do.” He was still uncertain as to what type of relationship he wanted with Zaizen, but he knew that he wanted one that went beyond the bounds of friendship.
“I see. Do you think Touko would hate me if I bought her a new hat? I know she loves the one she has, but it is getting old…” Yagami glanced over at Zaizen and smiled at his worried expression. The trials a father went through for his daughter were painful indeed.
“I doubt she’ll hate you. Dislike you for a month or so, yes. Perhaps you could buy her something soccer-related to balance it out?” he suggested as he pulled into the parking lot of a shopping mall, the first of many they would visit this day.
“Now that you mention it, I believe she’s friends with a soccer player here in Osaka…” Zaizen said thoughtfully, then clapped him on the shoulder. “Feel up to a reconnaissance mission, Yagami?”
“Anything for you, sir,” he replied promptly, and they shared a smile.
“Glad to hear it. Now, here’s the plan…”
“Pity we missed the cherry blossoms,” Zaizen commented as they shuffled along with the crowd coming from the Shoryo-e Festival. Yagami had attended it once as a boy, but he remembered little of it, so was happy to go again. Zaizen had seen it many times, but had said that he could see the performances a million times and not tire of them.
“They’ll be back next year,” Yagami replied, looking up as the passed underneath one of the trees. A few blossoms were still present, but the majority of them had fallen.
“As, I hope, will we.”
“We’ll see how things go,” the detective said guardedly, causing Zaizen to chuckle.
“Aren’t security personnel supposed to be always looking forward? Or was I lied to by my detail?” Zaizen joked as they joined a line for a street vendor.
“There’s a difference between looking forward and making plans too far in advance,” Yagami patiently explained. “If no catastrophe strikes next spring that requires our attention, I’d be happy to visit Osaka again with you.”
“That was a very roundabout way to say yes,” Zaizen said once they put in their orders.
“Considering my history, you should realize the reason why,” Yagami replied, paying for the snacks before Zaizen had a chance to object. “I’ll treat you for once,” he added, handing the man several skewers filled with tsukune.
“Since you insist…thank you!” Zaizen said as gracefully as he could, blowing on the meatballs to cool them.
“Do keep in mind that I intend to pay you back for the several meals you bought,” Yagami reminded as they walked back towards where he had parked the car.
“Do security personnel also have long memories, or is that just you?” Zaizen complained around a mouthful of chicken.
“Both,” he answered, causing his friend to groan.
Rain had started to fall while they were driving back to the inn, so they were unable to view the moon on their last night, but Yagami was fine with simply being able to spend time with Zaizen. They had returned to their respective rooms after supper, but the man was restless, unable to focus on anything for any length of time yet not tired enough to go to bed. He had taken a bath earlier, so he couldn’t even do that to try and settle his mind.
Yagami figured the reason he was so restless was because he was still waging an internal conflict over his love for Zaizen versus the love he still held for Keiko. Admitting his feelings had been a good starting point to resolving the conflict, but it was only the first step in the process. He had told himself that he would wait until they returned to Tokio to figure everything out, but it was clear that he couldn’t delay any longer. Perhaps another conversation with Zaizen would help.
Digging out his CCM, he sent a message to his friend and listened to the sound of the rain pounding against the roof as he waited for an answer. When it vibrated in his hand a few minutes later, he read the response and smiled.
Yagami, why in the world would I be busy? No need to knock - come on in!
Returning his CCM to where it had been, he straightened his yukata and went over to Zaizen’s room, hesitating a moment before sliding the door open. Zaizen was seated cross-legged on the floor, which didn’t surprise him, but was surprising was the LBX on the floor in front of him. He recognized the LBX as a being the Musha model produced by Cyber Lance, and so watched from the doorway as Zaizen attempted to operate it. His practiced eye quickly noticed the problems the man was having, and he decided to help him out.
Sliding the door shut behind him, Yagami went over and sat down behind Zaizen, murmuring, “You were right, you do need practice.”
“Indeed, I do,” was the slightly irritated response.
Yagami smiled at that and asked,. “May I try?” Zaizen offered it up, and Yagami manipulated the CCM’s keypad, accustoming himself to Musha’s response times and behaviour. It was very different from his General, both in design and armaments, but he had used enough LBXs in the past to have passing knowledge of most models. “Alright, show me again.”
Zaizen sighed and tensed, clearly unhappy at his lack of ability, but relaxed when Yagami squeezed his shoulder in support. Musha’s movements clearly lagged in comparison to Yagami’s handling when Zaizen operated it, but this time the detective chose to focus his attention on Zaizen’s method of using the CCM.
“Stop,” Yagami ordered after a few minutes, pressing his right arm to Zaizen’s and cupping the hand that held the CCM, aligning their fingers as best he could. “Don’t fight me, just relax and watch what I’m doing. Ready?”
Zaizen chuckled and said, “As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose. Just give me a moment...” Before Yagami had a chance to respond, his friend was leaning back into his chest, obviously comfortable with being so intimate. Yagami shifted ever so slightly so he could see the CCM clearly, then hesitantly slid his free arm around Zaizen’s waist. It was a bold move, but one that he thought felt right for the situation. The other man didn’t seem to mind, going so far as to rest his left hand atop Yagami’s.
Giving himself a second to adjust to this next stage in their relationship, Yagami took a deep breath and began to carefully guide Zaizen through the basics of using the Musha model. Once he understood, Zaizen learned quickly, and was soon operating the LBX without Yagami’s help.
As he watched the orange-and-white machine go through some simple attack and defence patterns, he realized that he hadn’t been this physically close to someone since Keiko had died. The thought both pleased and frightened him, but he tried to consider what his wife would say about it. It was something he had been avoiding, wishing to treasure her memory and her love for him. But it wasn’t fair to Zaizen to keep loving a ghost, no matter how much his friend said he understood Yagami’s feelings. Keiko…he imagined that she would be supportive of his decision to love Zaizen, especially after closing himself off for so long. Would she approve of them being intimate, though? He had only had a few relationships prior to meeting Keiko, and while she had never seemed jealous of them when they were together, Zaizen was neither his equal or a teenager.
“What are you thinking about, Yagami?” The question made him blink, embarrassed that he had gotten lost in thought during something like this.
“Keiko and how she might feel about us.”
“That sounds like a very serious line of thought for a vacation. Still, if it’s bothering you, it’s better to deal with it now. Have you figured anything out?” Zaizen sounded rather resigned to having this particular conversation, but his tone remained gentle.
“I think that on the whole, she would be accepting of this. As I said in the past, you two would have probably gotten along well.” Touko and Yuki probably would have been friends as well, or at least friendly towards each other.
“But?”
“Zaizen…” Yagami paused, weighing his words. “To be blunt, your position and mine are far from the same, and I’m uncertain if we could ever overcome that.” Yes, they were friends, but being lovers was something entirely different, and the unknown consequences of being with Zaizen scared him.
“Oh, Yagami.” Zaizen sighed and sat up straighter, shifting so that he was able to look at Yagami. The man was surprised at the pang of loss he felt when his friend moved away, but he shoved that aside to focus on Zaizen’s next words.
“Given our respective pasts, I can understand why you might be uncomfortable, but please know that I don’t care about that.” Zaizen paused and smiled, correcting himself by saying, “Alright, I might still be slightly angry that your former employers tried to kill me, but it wasn’t your finger on the trigger. As for the matter of my being your jailer…” His friend trailed off, instead raising a hand and playing with the end of Yagami’s braid. “While I will remain as such, I think we both understand that is more symbolic than anything at this point.”
Yagami opened his mouth, intending to protest, but then closed it again, reconsidering. “You’re right about that,” he admitted at last. “Still, it would make me feel better if myself and my team were punished in some way.”
“And it is that conscience of yours which proves to me that you truly regret your actions,” Zaizen replied, giving him a poke in the chest. “Your punishment has been the hard work you have done for the people of Japan since you came into my service, and I will recommend to Tougou that he should continue to use you for such tasks.”
Yagami nodded, seeing exactly what the former Prime Minister wanted of him. “I will be bound by confidentiality agreements, but I will pass along whatever I can,” he confirmed, getting a pleased nod in return.
“As for our uneven positions, we’ll work at it and figure things out as we go along. I love you, and I want you to be comfortable with whatever we do. What do you say?” Zaizen asked softly, and Yagami swallowed hard.
“Zai-no, Sousuke…Will you come with me to their graves once we get back?” he asked hoarsely, fighting to get the words out past the tightness in his chest.
“I will, Eiji,” Sousuke promised, smiling fondly at him.
Somewhere, Keiko and Yuki were looking down on him, and he knew that he would still love them both even when he was old and grey. But it was time to let them go and face his future with the one he loved.
“Then I say yes,” he stated firmly, feeling in his heart that he was doing the right thing. Sousuke’s delighted smile only strengthened his desire to be with him, and Yagami decided to seal the matter the traditional way. Without giving his new lover much time to react, he leaned in and kissed him softly, feeling that the gaping hole in his heart was finally starting to fill back in.
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